Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

To feel loved is one of our basic needs according to both, secular and Christian psychology. That sense of belonging is dear to our souls. Leah found herself, like many of us, face to face with the reality of not being loved by someone she loved very much. That someone was not just anybody; it was her husband Jacob.


January 12, 2011

31 When the LORD saw that Leah was not loved, he enabled her to conceive, but Rachel remained childless. 32 Leah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Reuben, for she said, “It is because the LORD has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now.”

33 She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “Because the LORD heard that I am not loved, he gave me this one too.” So she named him Simeon.

34 Again she conceived, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “Now at last my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him three sons.” So he was named Levi. 35 She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “This time I will praise the LORD.” So she named him Judah. Then she stopped having children.”

(Genesis 29:31-35) NIV

To feel loved is one of our basic needs according to both, secular and Christian psychology. That sense of belonging is dear to our souls. Leah found herself, like many of us, face to face with the reality of not being loved by someone she loved very much. That someone was not just anybody; it was her husband Jacob. When we study this story, we know that Jacob loved Rachel; he work for her for seven years and on his honeymoon, I guess all the lights were out and he did not realize until the next morning that he slept with the wrong sister (Leah). All of these were planned by Rachel and Leah’s father, Laban. At the end Jacob ended-up working fourteen years for Rachel. Leah on the other hand, was giving Jacobs babies left and right, but was not being appreciated for it.

When Leah had the first baby she stated: “It is because the LORD has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now.” Like many of us, see how her identity was attached in someone else other than God. She saw that child as the ticket to receive her husband’s love and appreciation.

For the second baby Leah stated: “Because the LORD heard that I am not loved, he gave me this one too.” She still was focusing on her husband’s lack of love for her.

Then she had a third one and Leah stated: Now at last my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him three sons.” Can you see the picture; Leah, like many of us is looking for love in all the wrong places. Many of us engage in the wrong relationships looking for love and acceptance and we quickly discover that no matter what we do or don’t do, we will always experience the rejection of men.

But then, she got pregnant again, but this time her language changed as she stated: “This time I will praise the LORD.” The story of Leah did not end here, but surely she gave us a great lesson to learn as she expressed her emotions in the naming of her children. Beloved, we must take an attitude of praise to our Lord because He is the only one that will never fail us and He is the only one that can truly satisfy our soul. Not that God does not have a good husband or wife for you, but we must be in love with the Lord first and praise Him in-spite of all the rejection, disappointment and pains of life.

Author: angelcasiano

An independent thinker with a profound call to see the orthodoxy of the church and passion for Christ manifesting together. Angel was born in Brooklyn, New York in April of 1968, he was raised on the beautiful island of Puerto Rico where he earned his B.S. degree in Sociology with a minor in Education from the Inter American University in San Germán in 1991. That same year he moved to Jacksonville, Florida. After working construction jobs for a year and learning the English language, his first job working with foster-care children in the capacity of youth care worker was with Jacksonville Youth Sanctuary in September of 1992. With JYS he was promoted several times as group home supervisor, legal caseworker, and program director. While in Jacksonville, Angel studied a couple of martial arts styles. After earning his black belt, he became the founder of Good Fight Ministries as he used martial arts as an instrument to preach the gospel. In 2004 Angel was selected Martial Arts Instructor of the Year for the State of Florida and in 2005 Angel was inducted in the USA Martial Arts Hall of Fame where he also received the Christian Spirit Award. In July of 2005 Angel accepted his call to pastor a bilingual church in Winton, NC where he served for a couple of years. Five months later he lost his first wife to cancer in December of that same year. This initiated a deep valley of suffering in his life, a mountain of costly mistakes and the embracing of lifestyles of sin that are well documented through this blog. In August of 2012 Angel moved to Fairbanks Alaska with his wife Rayette Casiano and six children who are now adults. In Alaska, Angel continued his social work-related career and his ministry of preaching, teaching and writing. Angel is the author of two books, Hope for the divorcee: Forgiving and Moving Forward and 7 Banderas de Esperanza: La Bendición de Yokdzonot. In January 8th of 2020 Angel and his wife moved to Arizona.

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