I am aching and my heart dances with bitterness. The downpour seems so desiccated; the sun produces no shine and the waters of the sea are clothed in gray. This imperceptible object hurts so, much! This imperceptible object surpasses my mind. The blanket of sorrow becomes my refuge; the tears of my soul are the cries that no one heeds. For some, life continues as usual; I should be able to be ok; but the unseen emotions are using my heart as a target. For the arrows of sweet memories stand as times that will never again be. The agonizing thought that it is over overwhelms me! Rejected, used and despised; I was left to die.
No, I am not ok! I am throbbing and my heart dances with bitterness. Only God with His banner of love can swathe me at night and keep me pure when the flesh cries-out for satisfaction. Perceiving failure is always an intricate task; like looking directly at the sun; like turning our heads when the evident horror is for certain.
So, regret does visit me; though I refuse to open the door, I can see the disgusting eyes of “what I should have walked away from,” mocking me throughout the window of my mind. The cliff of despair knows me by name; the dreadful garden of devastation awaits me.
I am aching and my heart dances with bitterness. The oppression of un-Godly thoughts, I brawl incessantly; pride grins at me with a sludge hammer of demolition. Who can break the chains of soul ties? Who can provide freedom to a man’s heart? It hurts; it hurts so, much! No, God did not promise a life devoid of pain; but the announcement was made that many are the afflictions of the just.
But, I gazed and saw a rainbow that announced that God has not given up on me. Yes, many are the adversities, but deliverance is only one prayer away. Yes, the brutality of the arsenals formed against us is existent; but the promise that they will not prosper are written upon the stones of the assurance found only in God. So, I look at the pain and conclude that God’s grace is sufficient. In the midst of the dance room of life, I push bitterness away and embrace forgiveness, the acceptance of my own faults and God’s love and redemptive power to make me whole again. This dance with bitterness is over!