How to Know that You Have Found the Right One

            Can we absolutely, biblically, know who that special person is whom we are supposed to marry? If you are like me, in my forties, you have probably made a nice share of mistakes in this area. We make mistakes because we focus on one thing and one thing only…physical attraction! No doubt that physical attraction is important; however, if that is our only criteria, we are setting ourselves up for future nightmares. I recommend you read my small article, The Power of Bad Relationships ( For this articles sake, we are going to discover that the Bible is very clear on who to marry and who not to marry. The answer is found in Second Corinthians 6:14-16.


“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said:

‘I will live with them
   and walk among them,
and I will be their God,
   and they will be my people.”

            Usually these verses are interpreted as a Christian not supposed to marry someone outside of the Christian Faith. However, as we look at these verses closely, we see a greater and deeper meaning. How many of you know how many so-called Christian Denominations we have? We have thousands with many different beliefs, doctrines, etc. In these verses, we find four key words: Common, Fellowship, Harmony and Agreement. The Bible tells us not to yoke ourselves together with people that we have nothing in common, we have no reason to fellowship with, we are not able to enjoy harmony with and we disagree with.  How do you know who that special one is; let’s break these words down:

  1. What do we have in Common? We don’t have to have everything in common, but we must share the same definition of what is righteous and what is wicked. “For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common?” As Christians, we are supposed to grow together in the knowledge of God and what is acceptable before Him.
  2. Do we enjoy our fellowship together? “Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”  The word “fellowship” is defined as: “A sharing of common interests, goals, experiences, or views.” For Christians, it is imperative that both parties enjoy fellowship in the light; a transparent fellowship…a Christ-like fellowship. There must be something more than sex! We fellowship with the people we enjoy; the people we get to be ourselves with, the people that make us laugh, make us feel better about ourselves, etc. That special person will be one that you would love to fellowship with before and after sex; it is the person you enjoy to be with more than any other person in the world. Do you enjoy talking to this person?
  3. Do we find harmony in Jesus? “What harmony is there between Christ and Belial…” Jesus must be at the center of our relationships; plain and simple! He must be our Savior and He must be our Lord. Harmony is defined as a “friendly agreement.” This is a peaceful relationship; not that there will never be disagreement or difficult moments, but at the core of the relationship we are able to find harmony in Christ.
  4. Are we in agreement? “What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols?”  We must be in agreement in terms of what we worship! What are our interests? Are we both pursuing loving God?


            To find the “right one” may be a taunting and difficult task. Only God can answer that question. However, God did specify which people we should not marry. A kingdom divided amongst it is destined to crumble. Let us heed this word and be wise in choosing who we want to spend life on earth with. If this person is able to steal your relationship with God, then your future is evident. And so, for those who are in the process of sharing your life, I urge you to investigate, pray and make no hasty decisions; as I also ask that you pray for me in this stage of my life. I know by experience that not following this guideline will lead to detrimental consequences. May you have peace and joy in your home.

3 thoughts on “How to Know that You Have Found the Right One

  1. Love your practical words of wisdom! So many people have accepted the fact that the person in whom they are interested “believe” in God (even as the demons do) although that potential spouse has not been won over, persuaded, or placed their confidence in the Lord. All of those terms further define the term believer. (The Complete Word Study Dictionary-Zodhiates)
    We have to be very careful to choose, or accept being chosen by, someone who authentically loves the Lord and desires to keep His commandments. So many basic conflicts can be avoided and a relationship can start off and continue in the correct and godly manner.
    Thank you mi amigo, mi hermano for all of your writings.


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