As I look at my forty-four years of existence I must conclude that my life is one filled with shameful failures and sin. Now, I don’t know why the Lord would have me writing and speaking about these things; but I know that some years ago I did made a covenant with myself that I was going to exalt Jesus, even if in the process I look like a fool. I did not know that it was going to be this bad when I made that promise.

In my short life as a Christian I have being involved in what we know as the big sins: fornication, rage, pride and many others. I know! Someone is saying that sin is sin and you are right, but there are certain sins, like fornication, that would destroy people a little faster. I am one that needs to be married and I am so thankful for the wife God has given me; she is such an amazing blessing to me! I am so glad that I am no longer alone; I was able to see, with my own eyes, how not good is for a man to be alone. Today, I was prompted by the Holy Spirit to speak about another struggle in my life; my struggle with food.

Since I was a baby my mom knew that I was a heavy eater. Puertorrican food is delicious, but not very healthy. As I came to the United States I was exposed to other styles of food that were also lethal. There is a lot of bread, noodles, meats and cheese in my diet…it is terrible! As I grew older I continued my bad eating habits; the only reason I was not obese as a child was because of my deep passion for sports and exercise.

I was a boxer as a young teen and my schedule was very active; I started the day with a five mile run. Coming back from school, it was very normal for me to get on my bicycle and ride another five miles to the Boxing Gym. At the Gym I was at the mercy of whatever the coach wanted to work on that day. I would ride that bicycle back home and ended the day with a two or three mile run. My Boxing Fights were on Saturdays and I played baseball on Sundays. With that kind of agenda it was very difficult to be fat; as a matter of fact I had a very nice six-pack that has turned to a couple of gallons.

I got married young, at nineteen, but I was still somewhat active in something physical. In my twenties I started getting involved with the Martial Arts World and I continued then my discipline for training. By then, I was already struggling with weight. However, Martial Arts help me to get back on track. My real physical decline, for me, started in April 26, 1997. It was then that I became a Christian and totally retired from Martial Arts.

During that time I went to the doctor for a general check up and for the first time I discovered that I had high cholesterol and that my heath was not good. With a family history of diabetes, high cholesterol and many other health issues it should have been a wake up call for me. I was then working with Foster Care Teens, but I was no longer working directly with them, as I became a Supervisor and later a director; so I spend a lot of time seating on my desk doing paper work and nothing active. This was a long season of not working out. I tried physical activities here and there, but I was extremely out of shape.

After my wife’s death in December 2005 and after over eight years of physical inactivity, I started taking working out very serious again; however, in the food department I was not doing so great. I did go a whole year without eating meat. In December of 2006 I re-married and even as emotionally and spiritually I was at my worst; physically I was feeling the best I had in years. In 2005 I was already close to two hundred and fifty pounds. In 2006 I dropped fifteen pounds, but I stayed at 235 pounds because of my eating habits.  In 2007 I decided to eliminate meat again, but this time I also eliminated bread and rice as I continued working out faithfully. It paid off as I went as low as 207 pounds. But I was still far away from my ideal weight of 185 pounds.

Personal problems, problems with my children, marital problems, etc. took the best out of me and the weight started coming back in 2008. It was a gradual thing, but by April of 2011, as I was going through a divorce, I was at my worst ever, I was 264 pounds.

I made some adjustments and lost some weight, but not much. I started working out at Vidant Wellness Center in Ahoskie about six months ago and that has helped me tremendously; but I continued to fail miserably in the area of my eating habits. I am 17 pounds away from my worst weight ever in April of 2011; that is good in a way. But the news are terrible, my situation is terrible! I am 79 pounds away from my ideal weight. The news got even worst today as my wife, who is a Medical Doctor, insisted in checking my cholesterol. My cholesterol is so high that the machine was unable to give me a number.

On my way back home I heard the Holy Spirit telling, “You are allowing the devil to kill you!”