If You Only Knew


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If you only knew what a failure I am, my past sins and my current struggles. If you only knew about the dark hour of my soul. If you only knew about the things that I have said, the things that I have done and what crosses my mind sometimes. If you only knew about the nastiness of my soul. I have failed everything and everyone; fallen short as a son, as a father, as a husband, as friend and as a man of God. If you only knew that I am nobody; destined to be nobody without the mercy of my God. Please do not fill my ears with titles…please do not place me in a pedestal and do not place your hope in me, for I will fail you. But if you can look a little closer, know that I am looking at Jesus, that I am desperate for HIS manifestation in my life. Look a little closer and see that it was the Lord that has brought me this far; that it was the Lord that gave me back inspiration; that it was the Lord that restored the songs of my heart for HIM, that it was the Lord that opened my mouth and gave me the fire to preach His Word again. Oh yes! If you only knew how disqualified I am, that in me, in my flesh, there is nothing good. But know this…that God has not left me, that HE is not done with me and that the banner of His love covers me. In that banner, in the midst of my humanity, I find hope and a divine purpose that goes beyond my name and what many make me to be…God will have His way in me and if that happens before my last hour in this dimension of life …then…Praise the Lord…To Him and only to Him be the glory! If you only knew!

Author: angelcasiano

An independent thinker with a profound call to see the orthodoxy of the church and passion for Christ manifesting together. Angel was born in Brooklyn, New York in April of 1968, he was raised on the beautiful island of Puerto Rico where he earned his B.S. degree in Sociology with a minor in Education from the Inter American University in San Germán in 1991. That same year he moved to Jacksonville, Florida. After working construction jobs for a year and learning the English language, his first job working with foster-care children in the capacity of youth care worker was with Jacksonville Youth Sanctuary in September of 1992. With JYS he was promoted several times as group home supervisor, legal caseworker, and program director. While in Jacksonville, Angel studied a couple of martial arts styles. After earning his black belt, he became the founder of Good Fight Ministries as he used martial arts as an instrument to preach the gospel. In 2004 Angel was selected Martial Arts Instructor of the Year for the State of Florida and in 2005 Angel was inducted in the USA Martial Arts Hall of Fame where he also received the Christian Spirit Award. In July of 2005 Angel accepted his call to pastor a bilingual church in Winton, NC where he served for a couple of years. Five months later he lost his first wife to cancer in December of that same year. This initiated a deep valley of suffering in his life, a mountain of costly mistakes and the embracing of lifestyles of sin that are well documented through this blog. In August of 2012 Angel moved to Fairbanks Alaska with his wife Rayette Casiano and six children who are now adults. In Alaska, Angel continued his social work-related career and his ministry of preaching, teaching and writing. Angel is the author of two books, Hope for the divorcee: Forgiving and Moving Forward and 7 Banderas de Esperanza: La Bendición de Yokdzonot. In January 8th of 2020 Angel and his wife moved to Arizona.

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