Consider the Alternative: A Word for Marriages


Marriage is difficult, very difficult! The Apostle Paul tells us in First Corinthians 7:28, “…Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you.” (NKJV) I go as far as to say that marriage is overrated, Paul backs me up when he states, “But if any man thinks he is behaving improperly toward his virgin, if she is past the flower of youth, and thus it must be, let him do what he wishes. He does not sin; let them marry. Nevertheless he who stands steadfast in his heart, having no necessity, but has power over his own will, and has so determined in his heart that he will keep his virgin, does well. So then he who gives her in marriage does well, but he who does not give her in marriage does better.” First Corinthians 7:36-38 (NKJV) These verses are referring to fist marriages, when you add second and third marriages with children it gets even more difficult.

         Paul even sees marriage as a distraction for ministry, “There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband. And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction.” First Corinthians 7:34-35 (NKJV)

         So then, why do we get marry? Two main reasons: 1) It still not good for a man to be alone.[1] And 2) It is better to marry than to burn.[2]     My mom also gave me a good reason. My dad is a great man now, but he used to drink a lot, committed adultery several times and was not the easiest guy to get alone with. I asked her, why did you stay? She told me, because I considered the alternative; you guys growing up without a dad, me raising you guys as single mom, etc.” I am so grateful that my mom considered the alternative! Have you considered the alternatives?

         There is a strong spirit of divorce that is taking over our society and even our churches. Seems like with every argument divorce comes up; as long as that is so, the spirit of divorce is in your house. Beloved, unless there is continual adultery, domestic violence, any kind of child abuse and things of that matter, stop whining, grow up from your teenage little fantasies and make up your mind to consider the alternative. That man or that woman is not there to complete you; only God can do that. If you are going into your second marriage it is going to get harder. If there are children involved even harder. With every divorce and every marriage is going to get harder.

So now that you are marry, it will do you well to understand your role as a husband and your role as a wife.

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Ephesians 5:22-33 New King James Version (NKJV)

[1] Genesis 2:18

[2] First Corinthians 7:9

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