The Indestructible Marriage


Couple holding hands
Just married couple, holding hands and walking in nature

I am inspired by some marriages I have seen since I came to Alaska. My job takes me into homes where I see wives taking care of their husbands and husband taking care of their wives. 30, 40, and fifty plus years after they said “I do”, after facing the challenges of marriage, some overcoming even adultery, alcohol abuse; some facing the challenges of dementia, diverse disabilities and many other challenges. I have been able to see, with my own eyes, examples of people that actually took serious the words, “For better and for worst, in sickness and in health, in riches and in lack.”

The Apostle Paul spoke plenty in First Corinthians 7 concerning marriage; on verse 28 he stated, “But even if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you.” (NKJV) That word trouble is the Greek word Thlípsis, meaning, “To crush, press, compress, squeeze, which is from thláō (n.f.), to break. Tribulation, trouble, affliction.”[1] I heard folks say that love never hurts; nothing can be further from the truth. The Bible tells us in First Corinthians 13:4 that “Love suffers long…” (NKJV)

I take the liberty to say that either suffering is multiplied by second, third marriages and beyond or, the tolerance for suffering decreases in a significant way. What we know for sure is that the statistics for divorce increase dramatically. The divorce statistics for first marriages are already alarming; they are in average at 45% to 50%; second marriages 60% to 67% and third marriages 70% to 73%.

I have noticed that there is a level in marriages that is very rare. It is what I like to call, the Cross Over Level; this is the Agape love level; this is the level where marriages do not talk about divorce and separation with every single argument. As long as divorce and separation still comes up in every argument, your marriage is still in the infant stage, the selfish stage and the foolish stage. Marriages that are mature still argue; it still difficult! As we can clearly see in First Corinthians 7:28, pain is a biblical reality. Marriage is not cookies, milk, flowers and butterflies. However, the cross over level in marriages rise above all that, it is the commitment that establishes, you are my wife and I am your husband no matter what. Even as you get on my last nerves I will always be there for you, in the good times, the bad times and the ugly times. These are marriages that can only be destroyed by continual adultery, domestic violence and death itself.

I pray for a marriage that is filled with the Philadelphia love (Friendship). I pray for a marriage that is fill with the Romantic love. But neither one of these kinds of love is strong enough to survive the tough times. For the tough times, the Agape love is the only force that will help us cross over. Show me a marriage that end up in divorce and many reasons could be given for such failure; but there is really one reason, they never learn to love each other with the Agape love. Show me a long marriage and, without a doubt, they were transformed by the Agape love. The Agape love never fails.[2]

 

 

 

[1] Spiros Zodhiates, The Complete Word Study Dictionary: New Testament (Chattanooga, TN: AMG Publishers, 2000).

[2] First Corinthians 13:8

Author: angelcasiano

An independent thinker with a profound call to see the orthodoxy of the church and passion for Christ manifesting together. Angel was born in Brooklyn, New York in April of 1968, he was raised on the beautiful island of Puerto Rico where he earned his B.S. degree in Sociology with a minor in Education from the Inter American University in San Germán in 1991. That same year he moved to Jacksonville, Florida. After working construction jobs for a year and learning the English language, his first job working with foster-care children in the capacity of youth care worker was with Jacksonville Youth Sanctuary in September of 1992. With JYS he was promoted several times as group home supervisor, legal caseworker, and program director. While in Jacksonville, Angel studied a couple of martial arts styles. After earning his black belt, he became the founder of Good Fight Ministries as he used martial arts as an instrument to preach the gospel. In 2004 Angel was selected Martial Arts Instructor of the Year for the State of Florida and in 2005 Angel was inducted in the USA Martial Arts Hall of Fame where he also received the Christian Spirit Award. In July of 2005 Angel accepted his call to pastor a bilingual church in Winton, NC where he served for a couple of years. Five months later he lost his first wife to cancer in December of that same year. This initiated a deep valley of suffering in his life, a mountain of costly mistakes and the embracing of lifestyles of sin that are well documented through this blog. In August of 2012 Angel moved to Fairbanks Alaska with his wife Rayette Casiano and six children who are now adults. In Alaska, Angel continued his social work-related career and his ministry of preaching, teaching and writing. Angel is the author of two books, Hope for the divorcee: Forgiving and Moving Forward and 7 Banderas de Esperanza: La Bendición de Yokdzonot. In January 8th of 2020 Angel and his wife moved to Arizona.

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