The Apostle Paul was very clear in his wish that everybody be like him in terms of not having sexual desires. Obviously, the Apostle Paul was not homosexual; he had the gift of self-control.^[1] A man without sexual desires is a man who is, either like the Apostle Paul or, a man with very low testosterone. Outside of that, a man is highly sexual and highly visual. 

The Bible is filled with sexual scandals; it has been a powerful weapon used by the devil since the beginning of time. The woman has always been Satan’s target to get to the man. In Genesis 19:30-38 Lots daughters got him drunk and had sex with him. They were concerned that they were not going to find husbands and, having sex with their own dad, was the idea they came up with. Out of that union came the Moabites and Ammonites; they were never looked at with honor. 

Abraham’s wife Sarah felt that God was taken too long in giving her children, so she told her husband to sleep with her servant Hagar. That was the idea Sarah came up with. Much pain came out of that union. 

What can we say about the strongest man in the history of the world, Samson? What brought him down? What can we say about the wisest man in the history of the world, Salomon? What brough him down? What can we say about the nation of Israel? Balaam was hired to curse Israel, he was stopped by God from doing so, but what did he use to bring Israel down? You got it… Fornication! We can bring these examples all the way to our day.

Believe me when I tell you, we as men are not superheroes. We do not have superpowers no matter how strong and spiritual we look. We all struggle, and it does not even take much for us to fall below the standard of sexual purity that God demands from us. 

“According to various reports, currently, the porn industry’s net worth is about $97 billion. This money is enough to feed at-least 4.8 billion people a day. Every year, Hollywood releases roughly 600 movies and makes $10 billion in profit. And how much porn industry makes? 13,000 films and close to $15 billion in profit. The porn industry makes more money than Major League Baseball, The NFL and The NBA combined.”^[2]

Pornography is the easiest way for a man to satisfy his sexual desires and he does not have to worry about satisfying a woman. Some feel they are not cheating on their wives. It used to be difficult to find porn, but in today’s culture, pornography is everywhere. It is easy, it is convenient and relatively cheap. Pornography is affecting men more than women but is indeed affecting both. Now, take the statistics that I just showed you concerning pornography and, compare those numbers with the following: 

Newsweek magazine estimates that 15 to 20 percent of couples are in a sexless relationship. Studies show that 10% of the married population below age 50 have not had sex in the past year. In addition, less than 20% report having sex a few times per year, or even monthly, under the age 40.”^[3]

Now, think about this for a minute, why pornography is such a lucrative business, but sexless marriages are becoming more and more common? Perhaps there is a considerable number of husbands and wives who prefer pornography over making love to each other. We will talk about this in more detail later; but first let’s look at First Corinthians 7:1-9. Everything you need to know about marriage and sex is there.

Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband. 3 The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 But this I say by way of concession, not of command. 7 Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and another in that. 8 But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I. 9 But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. (NASB 1995)

I hate to break it down to you; I know that there are some romantic ideas about marriage and, that is good; however, part of the reason we get married is to satisfy our natural sexual desires. 

The Apostle Paul is not a big fan of marriages; he prefers that folks be like him as he is able to focus 100 percent on the things of God. However, he knows that because of sexual immorality it is better for each man to have his own wife.  He said, “it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” Have you ever felt that kind of burn; I mean, I don’t want to be vulgar, but I am sure if you are an adult you can understand what Paul is talking about. It is actually painful to burn with passion and have no righteous way of satisfying that passion. The only righteous way to satisfy that burn is in marriage. 

Paul speaks about husbands and wives fulfilling their duties to each other (V. 3). The word duty here is the Greek word opheilḗ; meaning “To owe. A debt which must be paid, an obligation, a service which one owes someone.^[4] In Verse 4 Paul made it clear that we do not have authority over our bodies, our spouses do. Tell that to the “Me Too Movement.” Then Paul in verse 5 Paul encourages husbands and wives not to deprive each other from sex. The word Deprive is the Greek word aposteréō; meaning, “To defraud another of what belongs to him.”^[5] You are actually committing fraud when as a husband you do not follow through with your duty to make love to your wife whenever she wants and, vice versa. Lord have mercy!  These is the kind of information we need before we get married. 

This thing gets more and more dramatic and serious. First Corinthians 7:5 tells us, “Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” (NASB 1995) 

Marriage is supposed to be the ultimate love fest. The only time we stop getting it on is by mutual agreement for prayer. But right after we say that last amen, Paul tells us to come together again. He tells us that because of our lack of self-control, Satan will tempt us. Therefore, depraving each other is an open window for demonic activity. Now, let’s get into this demonic activity.

To be continued…

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^[1] First Corinthians 7:9 

^[2] https://medium.com/@TheSBT/how-big-is-the-porn-industry-fbc1ac78091b

^[3] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexless_marriage

^[4] Spiros Zodhiates, The Complete Word Study Dictionary: New Testament (Chattanooga, TN: AMG Publishers, 2000).

^[5] Spiros Zodhiates, The Complete Word Study Dictionary: New Testament (Chattanooga, TN: AMG Publishers, 2000).