Sex is good and sex feels good, especially for us men. I say this because, for the most part we don’t have a problem achieving our climax. Perhaps is a little more challenging for the women; but when they do, their climax last a little longer than ours. Women also go through menopause and their desire for sex decreases greatly.
Some interesting statistics show that “81.6% of women don’t orgasm from intercourse alone (without additional stimulation). Only 18.4% of women report that intercourse alone is sufficient to orgasm. 95% of heterosexual men usually or always orgasm during partnered sexual activity compared to just 65% of heterosexual women…59% of women have faked an orgasm.”[1] Ouch!!!!
But my fellow men, don’t be discourage, under normal circumstance, when sex is good, is one of the most enjoyable experiences in the world. God gave us this beautiful gift to enjoy in the sanctity of marriage. There is nothing nasty, unholy, or evil about sex if it takes place in marriage. Marriage between a man and a woman is the only righteous way to satisfy this need; not pornography and masturbation, not with a same sex partner or even oppositive sex if it is outside of the marriage. All sex outside of marriage is called fornication.
First Corinthians 6:18 tells us, “Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.” (KJV) Some versions use “sexual immorality”. Sex is immoral when it takes place outside of the marriage. Even as the Bible tells us to flee from fornication, for generations now, fornication have been normalized and showcased as a beautiful thing. However, statistics are showing something different.
Walter Larimore, MD has been called “one of America’s best known family physicians.” He is a nationally-known and nationally sought after speaker and health expert. He found that About 88 percent of Americans say they are happy or reasonably content with their married sex. And three-quarters report that their sex lives are reasonably fulfilling. That’s according to a national poll of 1,001 married Americans commissioned by Parade magazine. In researching for his book His Brain, Her Brain: How divinely designed differences can strengthen your marriage, Dr. Larimore found stunning research that shows:
- Sex is better in marriage
- Sex is better among religious or spiritual couples
- Sex is not better if you cohabit.[2]
But these days I asked myself this question, why fornication so bad? Why is it that Bible tells us to flee from it? Well, First Corinthians 6:18 tells us, that “…Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.” (KJV) So why is this so bad?
1. You become one with the worse of another human being; one in the flesh.
In Mark 10:8 Jesus tells us, referring to marriage, “and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh.” (ESV) Becoming one flesh in the context of marriage sound romantic, but it explains why marriage is so difficult to the point that Paul, if is not because of fornication, preferred that folks remain unmarried. In First Corinthians 7:2 Paul tells us, “But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.”
It is important to point out that becoming one is not uniquely a marriage thing, we become one with everybody we have sex with. First Corinthians 6:16 tells us, “Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.” (ESV) In First Corinthians 7:28 Paul tells us “…Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that.” (ESV) If in the context of marriage, we are destined to have “worldly troubles”, how much more outside of the marriage? This unity of the flesh involves the fruit of the flesh, and this is the reason why those troubles are inevitable. Galatians 5:19-21tells us,
Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, 21 envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. (ESV)
These are the things the flesh is filled with. The flesh is never willing to follow God (Galatians 5:17) So we become united with the part of us that is contrary to God and the part of us that, by nature, is destined not to inherit the Kingdom of God. It is the part of us that is indeed evil and the part of us that has no hope. Jesus told us that our spirit is willing, but that the flesh is weak (Matthew 26:41) and it will be forever weak until it is destroyed. When you become one with somebody some or all the fruits of flesh will manifest,
Sexual Immorality
Impurity: This is the Greek word akatharsía; meaning, “Moral uncleanness, vulgarity, self-gratification in general.”[3]
Sensuality: This is the Greek word asélgeia; meaning “Lasciviousness (Carnality), debauchery (Depravity), sexual excess, absence of restraint, lustfulness or perversion.”[4]
Idolatry: (Anything we place above God)
Sorcery: This is the Greek word pharmakeía; meaning “Use as a poisonous one. Pharmakeía means the occult, sorcery, witchcraft, illicit pharmaceuticals, trance, magical incantation with drugs.”[5]
Enmity: (Hatred)
Strife: (Contentions, fighting, verbal fighting)
Jealousy
Fits of anger
Rivalries: (Focus on self-interest)
Dissensions: (Division, discord, separation, etc.)
Divisions: This is the Greek word haíresis; meaning “To choose, or select heresy, a form of religious worship, discipline, or opinion.”[6] Because the flesh is contrary to God it will always false doctrines; in this case heresies; totally contrary to God’s righteousness.”
Envy
Drunkenness: (Alcoholism)
Orgies: This is the Greek word kṓmos; meaning “Riotous conduct; festivities in honor of several gods, especially Bacchus, the god of wine, hence feastings and drunkenness with impurity and obscenity of the grossest kind. Therefore, it always presupposes a festive company and drunken revellers.”[7]
I am sure that anybody involved in fornication and, yes… in marriage, has experience some of these bitter fruits at one point or another. Understand that when we become one with any individual, we have sex with, in the context or marriage or just casual sex, we become one with the worse of each other.
If we are having sex, in the context of marriage, there is hope if we are both believers in Christ. A healthy relationship with God, a full engagement in the discipleship process and, as the Agape love grows on each other, we can enjoy and peaceful and happy marriage. However, if we are uniquely joke according to First Corinthians 6:14 or, if we are fornicating, things get worse from here.
There are more reasons to explains why fornication is so bad, but it starts here. Uniting with the worse of each other is challenging in marriage, but with God’s help things will get better; outside of the context of marriage we are hopeless. Imagine the devastating consequences of folks having sex in homosexual relationships. They are also one in the flesh, but with no hope of unrighteous satisfaction and no hope of making that desire right.
There are other reasons why fornication is so bad, but they all have their foundation on this first reason.
To be continued…
[1] https://pleasurebetter.com/orgasm-statistics/
[2] https://www.imom.com/poll-shows-sex-within-marriage-is-more-fulfilling/
[3] Spiros Zodhiates, The Complete Word Study Dictionary: New Testament (Chattanooga, TN: AMG Publishers, 2000).
[4] Spiros Zodhiates, The Complete Word Study Dictionary: New Testament (Chattanooga, TN: AMG Publishers, 2000).
[5] Spiros Zodhiates, The Complete Word Study Dictionary: New Testament (Chattanooga, TN: AMG Publishers, 2000).
[6] Spiros Zodhiates, The Complete Word Study Dictionary: New Testament (Chattanooga, TN: AMG Publishers, 2000).
[7] Spiros Zodhiates, The Complete Word Study Dictionary: New Testament (Chattanooga, TN: AMG Publishers, 2000).
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