On August 10th of this year, just a couple of days from the moment I write these words, I celebrated four years since I arrived in Fairbanks, AK. I drove ten days from Gates County, North Carolina. Without knowing much about Alaska, other that it was cold and, without knowing anybody, my wife, my six
Category: My Life!
On August of 2010, Presbyter José Bosque told me about blogging using wordpress.com and about the opportunity of writing on a consistence basis. José told me that it was free and easy to set up. On August 9, 2010 I started blogging! The first few blogs I posted were previous writings I had written for jaxchristian.com.
Today, I see the stars and they are shinning more than ever; today, I see the beauty of the moon; I enjoy the dances of the sea, I can hear the songs of the birds; I can sing a new song to my Father. He is faithful, He restored my soul, and I am alive again.
Today, I find myself full of joy, I find myself at peace and with a greater intimacy with the Lord. God is indeed good! I look to the future with great expectation! God has already shown me a piece of the promise land. Happy birthday to me!
As I sat in my car looking at my daughter practicing basketball, a few thoughts crossed my mind. It have been a tough and long season of troubles, pains, mistakes, bad decisions, regrets and the bitter taste of sin. But as I watch my daughter running up and down the court I suddenly realize that I am free. Not free just because I was sorry, but free because God blessed me with the grace to repent.
I surely mess-up in so many ways; I surely deserve nothing but the flames of hell, but today I am free indeed. The “Balaams” of this world prepared to articulate their curses over my life, but God declared me free. I am free to go after God with all my heart and without distractions. Today I am free to be the father that God wants me to be. I have many personal challenges, but God has given me the courage to face my giants; the power to kill them and the anointing to live the life He wants me to live.
I am not condemned, I am not discouraged, I am not disqualified and I will not allow the accuser of my soul to keep me bound. I can see the turning, I can see the good and I can see the light. God will get the glory in my life; He is greater, without measure, than any giant in my life. The land of my promise awaits; the land of my promise is mine.
I see my daughter who at six lost her mom; who tragically saw her dad at his worst as he engaged in a second marriage. My princess endureth the pain of not knowing what was next. Ileana, like her mom, Jubi as I commonly called her; there she is jumping so high! I saw her as she went through five elementary schools; changed of people, changed of neighborhoods; but here she walks into this practice, this new team, like she is being here forever. God knows how to turn things around. There is my princess, in the center of the court, strong, courageous and fearless. New coach, new teammates, hard practice, but there she is pressing on… This is your day baby! Life surely has made you tough! My baby can sweeten your soul with a song and be your worst nightmare on the court. Go Jubilee go! Your daddy is surely proud of you!
Today, I have a greater sense of who I am and most of all, who God is. Today I embrace holiness; I just don’t preach about dying to self; I want to die to self. Today I have experienced some of the greatest victories of my life and the best is yet to come. Today, I am writing for the glory of God, I am ministering to the many out of the sincerity of my story and not out of a false image of me. The focus is on God and not on me. Today, God is opening doors and giving me new passions. Today, I can hear the new songs decorating the sounds of my soul. God is guiding me, God loves me and God is restoring me.
Two and half years later I am no longer blaming circumstances and people for my mess. I thank God for circumstances and people as they brought the true condition of my heart to the light of my reality.
. For the deep knowing that no matter the end-result of certain things and situations, God is God and HE will continue to be God. For these things and so much more… Thank you Daddy!
I feel so disqualify to write, to preach and to teach God’s Word. It is truly something when we are face to face with the awful condition of our hearts. I still wake up in the morning with a sense of emptiness; I still feel the darkness of a cloud that oppress my emotions every day; I still battle in my mind the thoughts taht come to steal my peace. It still hurts!
My time is here; the turning I see…God will forever love me! Hope has arrived and is riding me out of this awful and costly mistake. Reality is set, the truth is now clear. After so many warnings, like the song of the fighter, “There’s no easy way out”. Today, in this new beginning, I find myself repenting for trying to make something out of something that should have never been.