“I want to share the rest of my life with you.” This is a very common expression for people who want to get marry. The older I get, the more I discover that this expression is just wrong!
What makes a marriage great is a “mutual” commitment to God. Do you both share a passion for Jesus and a passion to serve His people? You can’t have one spouse pressing on to God in holiness and the other listening to Snoop Dogg’s music and bringing R-Rated movies and immoral garbage to the home. Believe me, that’s not going to work. This issue of unequally joke (2 Corinthians 6:14-18) is not just a thing of Christians not allowed to marry people outside of the faith. This unequally joke thing is applicable among Christians themselves. That is because today’s days we have an approach to the Gospel where it seems like there is no absolutes, everybody is doing whatever they want. This is the Burger King Gospel, where everybody have it their way!
What makes a marriage great is the sense that we can count on each other, no matter what. It is the embracing of the Agape love, the unconditional love, the love that is able to see beyond toilet seats left up, bad breath, bad cooking, in sickness, in the good times and even in the bad times, when there is money in the bank and when we can only afford Ramen Noodles with hot dogs. I am talking about a marriage where even as not exempt from issues; at least they both know that divorce is not a constant threat or, one mistake away from reality.
See beloved, we have believed so much fallacies concerning marriage. We hear things like, “Love never hurt.” Really? LOL!!!!! My Bible tells me that love suffers long (First Corinthians 13:4) Furthermore, First Corinthians 7 is dedicated to discourage marriage; however Paul establishes, very clearly, that because of fornication is better to marry (First Corinthians 7:9) Furthermore, First Corinthians 7:28 closes the case on the nightmare that a marriage can be,
“But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.” (NIV)
Finally, even as the list is longer than this, let me finish with something the Lord told me some time ago; it is not about sharing our lives, it is about sharing our passions. If you and your spouse do not share some similar passions, you are up to a tough ride in your marriage. Do you like the outdoors? Are you passionate about going outside and enjoying God’s creation? Make sure your spouse do also because if she acts as if she is allergic to vitamin D you are going to be taking those long walks by yourself.
What about if you both already have children? Are you both “old school” in your parenting styles or, is one of you embracing this new way of parenting where parents do not correct their children for fear of hurting their feeling? You better get that straight before marriage because it will be a nightmare. Over 80 percent of blended families end-up in divorce and parenting styles is the number one reason. What do you like to do for fun? Any similarities there? Pay attention to that before you get marry or you will be in a very boring situation.
Beloved, sharing our lives is not enough; that is because, if my life stinks, then I will just be sharing my stinky life with you. But if we share similar passion, from the bed to that long walk, we will, in the mix of all, enjoy good times, special moments and eternal memories together.