Not Marry Yet? A Word of Advise


“I want to share the rest of my life with you.” This is a very common expression for people who want to get marry. The older I get, the more I discover that this expression is just wrong!

What makes a marriage great is a “mutual” commitment to God. Do you both share a passion for Jesus and a passion to serve His people? You can’t have one spouse pressing on to God in holiness and the other listening to Snoop Dogg’s music and bringing R-Rated movies and immoral garbage to the home. Believe me, that’s not going to work. This issue of unequally joke (2 Corinthians 6:14-18) is not just a thing of Christians not allowed to marry people outside of the faith. This unequally joke thing is applicable among Christians themselves. That is because today’s days we have an approach to the Gospel where it seems like there is no absolutes, everybody is doing whatever they want. This is the Burger King Gospel, where everybody have it their way!

What makes a marriage great is the sense that we can count on each other, no matter what. It is the embracing of the Agape love, the unconditional love, the love that is able to see beyond toilet seats left up, bad breath, bad cooking, in sickness, in the good times and even in the bad times, when there is money in the bank and when we can only afford Ramen Noodles with hot dogs. I am talking about a marriage where even as not exempt from issues; at least they both know that divorce is not a constant threat or, one mistake away from reality.

See beloved, we have believed so much fallacies concerning marriage. We hear things like, “Love never hurt.” Really? LOL!!!!! My Bible tells me that love suffers long (First Corinthians 13:4) Furthermore, First Corinthians 7 is dedicated to discourage marriage; however Paul establishes, very clearly, that because of fornication is better to marry (First Corinthians 7:9) Furthermore, First Corinthians 7:28 closes the case on the nightmare that a marriage can be,

“But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.” (NIV)

Finally, even as the list is longer than this, let me finish with something the Lord told me some time ago; it is not about sharing our lives, it is about sharing our passions. If you and your spouse do not share some similar passions, you are up to a tough ride in your marriage. Do you like the outdoors? Are you passionate about going outside and enjoying God’s creation? Make sure your spouse do also because if she acts as if she is allergic to vitamin D you are going to be taking those long walks by yourself.

What about if you both already have children? Are you both “old school” in your parenting styles or, is one of you embracing this new way of parenting where parents do not correct their children for fear of hurting their feeling? You better get that straight before marriage because it will be a nightmare. Over 80 percent of blended families end-up in divorce and parenting styles is the number one reason. What do you like to do for fun? Any similarities there? Pay attention to that before you get marry or you will be in a very boring situation.
Beloved, sharing our lives is not enough; that is because, if my life stinks, then I will just be sharing my stinky life with you. But if we share similar passion, from the bed to that long walk, we will, in the mix of all, enjoy good times, special moments and eternal memories together.

Author: angelcasiano

An independent thinker with a profound call to see the orthodoxy of the church and passion for Christ manifesting together. Angel was born in Brooklyn, New York in April of 1968, he was raised on the beautiful island of Puerto Rico where he earned his B.S. degree in Sociology with a minor in Education from the Inter American University in San Germán in 1991. That same year he moved to Jacksonville, Florida. After working construction jobs for a year and learning the English language, his first job working with foster-care children in the capacity of youth care worker was with Jacksonville Youth Sanctuary in September of 1992. With JYS he was promoted several times as group home supervisor, legal caseworker, and program director. While in Jacksonville, Angel studied a couple of martial arts styles. After earning his black belt, he became the founder of Good Fight Ministries as he used martial arts as an instrument to preach the gospel. In 2004 Angel was selected Martial Arts Instructor of the Year for the State of Florida and in 2005 Angel was inducted in the USA Martial Arts Hall of Fame where he also received the Christian Spirit Award. In July of 2005 Angel accepted his call to pastor a bilingual church in Winton, NC where he served for a couple of years. Five months later he lost his first wife to cancer in December of that same year. This initiated a deep valley of suffering in his life, a mountain of costly mistakes and the embracing of lifestyles of sin that are well documented through this blog. In August of 2012 Angel moved to Fairbanks Alaska with his wife Rayette Casiano and six children who are now adults. In Alaska, Angel continued his social work-related career and his ministry of preaching, teaching and writing. Angel is the author of two books, Hope for the divorcee: Forgiving and Moving Forward and 7 Banderas de Esperanza: La Bendición de Yokdzonot. In January 8th of 2020 Angel and his wife moved to Arizona.

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