I feel like society, the culture and even our own families are rejecting people like me more and more. Fathers like me are considered old-fashioned and outdated. The old-school approach of parenting was not perfect, but compared to this liberal approach; I rather keep the old ways.
We, as fathers are competing with a culture that promotes the self-expression of our children. It is funny to me, because they know nothing yet (They are kids!!!!), but they think they know, so our culture promotes them expressing their ignorance and stupidity.
The culture promotes them having rights for privacy, cell phones with internet access to the whole world and a constant social media that keeps them focus on themselves and totally disconnected from God and family. A culture that highly promotes an open and constant seduction expressed in the way they talk, in the way they text, what they watch on TV, Hollywood, in their clothing with, short dresses that keep very little to the imagination, legging, tight shorts and teats everywhere.
The authority of fathers is challenged every. Our importance in the homes is diminished. What we do is rejected and made fun of and the worst part, many of us are not really taking our place. Many fathers are absent and continue to give grotesque examples of irresponsibility.
Many other fathers are not absent, however, they are silence by their wives. Many have to choose between keeping their wives and confronting their children with their foolishness. So they stay quiet, go with the flow and lower the standards. They are afraid of hurting their kid’s feelings for fear of making “mama” upset. Disciple is out the door and disrespect is welcome with open hands. What is the result of this value system change? According to the Child Defense Fund (1992) these are the facts of what is happening to teens in the United States of America EVERY DAY:
- EVERY DAY, 6 teens commit suicide
- EVERY DAY, 7 kids, ages ten to nineteen, are murdered
- EVERY DAY, 7 juveniles, ages seventeen and under, are arrested for murder
- EVERY DAY, 8 teens are raped
- EVERY DAY, 500 teens begin using drugs
- EVERY DAY, One thousand teens begin using alcohol
- EVERY DAY, One thousand unwed teenage girls have a baby
- EVERY DAY, more than one thousand teenage girls get abortion.
- EVERY DAY, more than twenty-seven hundred kids watch their parents separate or divorce.
- EVERY DAY, more than four thousand teens contract a sexually transmitted disease.
- EVERY DAY, more than one hundred thousand kids bring a gun or other weapon to school. (Clinton & Ohlschlager, 2013 p. 18-20)
Beloved, it is so bad that discipline now is viewed as lacking love and being mean-spirited. These are lies from hell; but the problem is that the culture is taking those lies as Gospel truth, our families are taking those lies as Gospel truth and the preacher in the church lacks the courage to teach and preach about these things for fear of loosing his congregation. Because we understand the damage that legalism caused and continue to cause, we now embrace a friendly liberalism that is just as bad or even worst.
But what does the Bible has to say about all these things? Did God run out of answers for our present cultural crisis? No! Take these verses into consideration,
“And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” John 8:32 (NKJV)
What we need is truth; yes, the tough truth that nobody wants to hear. But truth is not enough, it most be balanced with grace (John 1:17) We most give people an opportunity to come the way they are; we most be ready to receive them with open arms when, finally, their hearts be consume by repentance, when, finally they see the fruit of their ways. Pastor Jeff Oden from North Pole Church of God said it best, on a recent sermon as he refuses the idea of having babies out of wedlock be rise outside of the church. Indeed that will make matters worst. We most trust the Living God for our children, for our neighborhood and for our churches. Evil will always be out there, it will get worst; but we will bring them in with truth and with grace.
Our children need discipline; discipline is an expression of love (Hebrews 12:6). Those tough conversations most take place. Several years ago they did a show on TV in Puerto Rico amongst the toughest criminals in prison. They all stated that they wished their parents would have being tougher with them, that the parent would have question them more…disciplined them more, etc. Those were the exact words I recently heard from a father, whose adult trouble step son told him, “I wish you would have been tougher with me.”
I love all of my children and I face the same challenges all parents face; I am no difference. Statistics actually show that the challenges of blended families are even greater. However, I insist on a verse that keeps me going,
Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6 (NKJV)
I will continue, in the mix of my own imperfections, to train up my kids, to give them something to remember. They may not apply it now; but perhaps when I am gone with my Heavenly Daddy, they can remember the good things I say and find forgiveness in their hearts for the other things I said and did that were not Godly. Perhaps they can remember, when they are old themselves, that even as we are not perfect, we have a mandate to pursue holiness and not use our pitiful state of being human, as a reason to expand in our evil ways. The crisis is before us; it is a reality. However, the solution is also before us. The solution is Jesus Christ and not this liberal, Obama backing, Oprah Winfield intellectualizing and Hollywood glorifying garbage.
- All scriptures quoted from the New King James Version Bible
- Clinton, Timothy & Dr. Ohlschlager, George, Competent Christian Counseling, Water Brook, Volume I